Private Case File: Kelly Ripa
Copyright © Jarmo Koskinen, 2009
Yes, I know the truth. Kelly Ripa is really
long lost daughter! My research is impeccable and totally convincing.
what I found. Firstly no one but Kelly can match or even come close to
wit, but along came Kelly who simply breezed into the chair next to the
on the hit talk show "Live with
Regis and Kelly!" Not convinced … well consider
their statures … they are close in height and Kelly also shares some of
other genetics … consider the similarities in their chests! Okay … this
beginning to look better, but how could such a thing have occurred?
Now, things get really interesting. My
secret research shows
that Regis was abducted by an alien. The abductor was none other than
Nine of Star Trek: Voyager fame. Yes … you read it right … she is a
who played the part as a deception. Her “human name” is Jeri Ryan but
fooled. She is a really part Borg and her identity and age is part of
She is really much older than her forged birth certificate indicates,
born on Feb. 22, 1968.
Yes, Regis was walking along a
Okay … but what about Jeri Ryan and Kelly
… what do they
share in common? Well both use the same kind of hair coloring and work
same business. Interesting … isn’t it? Well … late in 1970 Seven of
dropped the baby Kelly off at a
Another mystery has been solved by Sure-Foot Helms. I would be happy to be of future service but I don’t work cheap!
SureFoot Helms, March 24, 2009