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Okay I don't know what's going on. Ken the Wildman sent me this stuff and I laughed like a mad hyena. I think his wildness is catching.  I'm convinced the Wildman thinks he's the re-incarnation of Mark Twain; only he doesn't believe in re-incarnation. I'm sure ... this guy's blown his lid ... I don't know if you should read this stuff.

Laughing Hyenas

Mark Twain

Laurel & Hardy

Cop in uniform

Lock up Ken the Wildman
Ken the Wildman's Private Thoughts Revealed

"Cheap thoughts are easy to catch. Any dollar store mouse trap will do."

"Good thoughts are fast little critters ... they
are really hard to grab. This is especially true for the rarer and fastest ones!"

"To find one good thought requires that one sifts through and then dumps a thousand into the garbage bin. It's a pretty messy search!"

"A good thought is as precious as a large gold nugget. The better ones are as shiny as precisely  cut diamonds. Thoughts don't polish themselves; this is the work of obsessed minds."

"My truth today will not play a leading role in my future! But I suspect it will provide me with a lot of material for some damn good comedy!"

"Sometimes it's best to simply go off into the sunset with your best thoughts held tightly to your chest! Most folks couldn't understand them anyways."

"If you horde your thoughts, no one will ever see them. That's like a beauty queen who hides in a dark cave."

"I think it's best to travel lightly. Since some thoughts are very heavy, drop a few along the trail. Even the buzzards have to eat!"

"A few well chosen words are worth a thousand pictures!"

"So-Be-It! It is what it is, and it ain't, what it ain't!"

"If everybody is a fool, then it has to include you!"

"If you're not a little wacky, you haven't looked around!"

"Living is fun but I don't like crapping. If you don't crap ... you're dead. Hmm, I guess crapping isn't so bad afterall."

"Without genuine tolerance ... there couldn't be any real democracy! Without real democracy ... there couldn't be any genuine tolerance!"

"Democracy ... my ass. We're all slaves to the state. Elections only decide who gets to crack the whip."

"If Who's on first ... Who's on second?"

"Clowns make lousy politicians ... they get too many laughs. Politicians make lousy clowns ... they don't get enough laughs."

"Politicians are like clowns ... no one takes them seriously."

"Politicians are like "Ole Faithful." They bubble and boil; and sure enough, they blow off steam. But it's never enough to do anything useful!"

Apples may be good to eat but here's what I say, "A chuckle a day, keeps the doctor away!"

"If the cops are the good guys ... who are the crooks?"

"Is there a difference between the cops in the West and those in China? No, they all think they're above the law. They get paid and then there's whatever they can grab."

"A cop who never lies in court is like a hooker who doesn't turn tricks."

"I want to sell New York City to any judge who thinks the cops never lie in court. It's a really good deal. I only need $50,000 down in cash, unmarked bills. I'll take the balance in zero interest payments made to my off shore account. Oh ... yes, I'll have the deed sent in the mail."

"If the uniform never goes to a cop's head ... how come they wear those funny hats?"

"I know why cops on the nightshift spend so much time in coffee shops. They're obviously guarding the donuts."

“If the cops are guarding the donuts, how come they eat so many? It's like hiring fox to guard the chickens. Well … they also get free coffee to wash the donuts down. I never said they were stupid!”

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